As in, not eating in a restaurant and paying for it.
Guess who turned 22 today? This girl.
Actually My Nepali birthday (16th of Jeth 2047) was on the 29th today, so I got to celebrate for 2 days. Or 2 days 9 hours and 45 minutes because in Nepal it was my birthday before it was here. Yayness.
It’s been a reminder of family and friends, and of my alone-ness at the same time. The people who matter the most have wished me already- the parents, brother, grandparents, Bhoju. (A few people have written on my facebook already, but on facebook you never know who’s doing it just for the heck of it and who really loves you so I’m not even going to talk about it.) But at the same time, I went to dinner alone (and for the first time, food at Sush Ave wasn’t good). Tomorrow, I’ll drink wine by myself. That’s just how life is.
Talking about being by yourself no matter how many people love you- I wanted to move to New Mexico after graduate so I could live with Loki. He wants to live on campus, and not with me, even if I’m there. This sounds familiar. For years while we were growing up (from when I was in fifth grade all the way to twelfth) I used to want to study with my brother. He always said I distracted him, and he never wanted to study with me.
But at the same time, there are people who care. WHo aren’t going to be there when I celebrate my birthday, or maybe even my wedding, but people who genuinely care. Like a certain someone (nothing romantic/ sexual) that I’m not going to name here. and like Biju Dada, who wishes I was at his wedding so that I could dance my shoes off.
Here’s hoping that tomorrow (technically today since it’s past midnight) is better than today (yesterday).
Happy Birthday to me.
My parents have emotions. My dad has emotions. Okay, I sound like I’m being too harsh about the whole thing.
But today my parents called to wish me a Happy Birthday (it’s my birthday acc. to the Nepali calender) and he acted like Bs aren’t the end of the world, and they want me to have a fun birthday and do nice things for myself, and OMG they remembered (my father usually sucks at dates).
My Mom is always nice, and cares about no grades or such, so no surprises there.
I remember you said,
“Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead
Years ago I told you that should you ever decide you don’t want me in your life anymore, all you’d have to say is, “leave me alone.” After nearly ten years of fighting, countless “I hate you”s, saying you couldn’t live without me, you’re no longer in my life. And you still haven’t said those three words I’ve been begging to hear. Please, set me free.
Just watched a movie where a girl was forced (by circumstances) to become a prostitute.
Haven’t talked to the parents (a real conversation) in 12 days.
Job might be part time.
I might have to move.
Tickets to Albakerky are expensive, but I really want to g see my brother.
(I know people have bigger problems than this, but thse are mine, and we’re not going to compare, okay?)
